INSTANT SEARCH

The lifestyle and business blog with personality

Tag Archives:
wedding

Who do I choose?

12:30 am…

Tomorrow’s my wedding, what I’m I doing awake at this time? I’m the bride, I  need to get my beauty sleep in that beautifully tailored wedding dress, look pretty, smile and get married to the man I have grown to love so much and have decided to spend forever with, the man of my dreams and reality…but I’m up, unable to blink my eyes, worried, tensed, confused… Is it because I’m getting married or the end of my single life? No! For me, this is the beginning of a new episode in my life not a whole new season. SO WHY AM I AWAKE?

Someone is supposed to dress me up, make me beautiful and walk me to the altar representing my late dad, hand me over to my husband-to-be. The only next/right choice after  my dad will be my mum right??? Simple, problem solved but I have 3 MUMS!!! It still beats me when I think about it, I mean, who has even 2 mums? you could have 3 fathers like in “Mama mia”(the movie) because a woman can sleep with 3 men and not know who exactly is responsible but here I am with 3 women and they are all my mothers.  How??? I will tell you…

My dad got married to this beautiful lady called Lauryn. They had been lovers since their university days. My dad actually said it started since their high school days. Their relationship grew into something too beautiful…

To be continued…

 

Love,

Einsteinette.

How to Get Through a Marriage Crisis

Have you ever made up your mind to go on a walk and enjoy the bright day and fresh air and then suddenly, the clouds just get thick and then it starts raining, sometimes, it doesn’t even get thick at all, it just starts raining. Marriage can be like this, dating too. It starts beautiful and at some point gets ugly. Good news is that you can make it all beautiful again. Every relationship has its ups and downs, and just because you’re not acting like a couple of love birds doesn’t mean you’re going through a marriage crisis. So how do you know if you’re going through a particularly hard moment? There are certain signs you should keep an eye out for. Once you’ve ascertained that you are experiencing a crisis in your marriage, don’t run too quickly to the divorce option.

 

TRY THE FOLLOWING FIRST:

 

  • Be conscious of timing, location and approach – Finding the right place and situation to talk about your worries with your husband/wife is essential. Nagging about problems after a long and stressful work day is not productive or wise because you both are tired and may not in the best of moods.
  • Keep it positive – Laugh and the world will laugh with you, cry and you’ll cry alone. Stay positive, don’t over think or assume and never let yourself overload the situation with negative vibes and a pessimistic attitude, as it won’t help. Indeed, the best way to see the bright side is to look at it. Rather than focusing on everything that’s wrong in the relationship think of all the great things that you might have forgotten.
  • Be generous and selfless – Moments of crises are moments when extra effort is required and marriage crisis is no different. So prepare to undergo a period during which you will have to give more than you normally do, whether that’s love, attention, space or time. Patience is one of the best allies to fight this battle against whatever problem your marriage is facing.
  • Listen, understand and avoid assumptions – Don’t close yourself. Don’t rush to conclusions or reject your spouse just because they’re rejecting you. If they’ve told you they’re unsure whether they want to keep being with you or not, look for reasons, listen to them and try to put yourself in their shoes. In a word, be understanding and objective, which doesn’t mean endure everything, but it’s the best way to analyze the problem and find solutions. The worst thing you can do is to raise a wall. If speaking is a problem, a good idea is to both make a list of the things you don’t like about the other’s behavior and take turns to read your thoughts on it.
  • Don’t get too needy – Show them that you are the same independent man/woman you were at the beginning of your relationship and that this is something that will never change. This will take some pressure off your spouse shoulders and will give them some space in order to think freely
  • Relight the fire – Try to spice up your routine as much as you can. Pretend you are dating again. It will be fun and it will make you remember why you liked each other in the first place. Another great idea to relight the fire is to rent a holiday home away from the everyday routine and also to have some time together to help remind each other why you decided to tie the knot. Quiet and snugly situations are always the best way to face problems and find solutions.

 

Sometimes the origin of the problem might be the foundation. Find out THE FOUNDATION OF ANY RELATIONSHIP 1 & 2.

 

If the previous advice fails the best thing to do is to seek a marriage counselor. Keep in mind that some relationship problems are difficult to be solved, especially those that involve physical and/or verbal violence or infidelity, though this doesn’t mean that all is lost. Hard work, love, respect, commitment, understanding and many more are antidotes to relationship crisis.

 

DON’T THINK DIVORCE, THINK RENAISSANCE!!!

 

If you enjoyed this, then you might enjoy other write ups by Sade Adebayo.

– Exercising Tips for People Working From Home

– Great Wedding Proposal Ideas

– How to Dress for Success

 

Guest writer,

Sade Adebayo.

 

That Moment

Hi, how is your Sunday going? Let me add more spice to it with this refreshing post that is probably the rendition off something that happened yesterday.
I gradually opened my eyes, still feeling very sleepy, I looked at my clock on the wall and it looked something like 6:35…oh shit! 6:35am…I was supposed to be at the dressing house before 7am!!! Adrenaline pumped and gave me enough energy to rush and drive to…drive what!!! the hold up would be too crazy! I grabbed my wallet and took a bike…and as I guessed the hold up was crazy. Got there 7:13am… My best man and groomsmen were there already…I apologized and I was given my suit and dressed accordingly. We rushed into the car and drove to the church, as we drove I realized how tired I was, making plans and how much money I had spent on this wedding…but her picture danced in my head and I knew it was worth it. The car came to a halt and we stepped out, I looked at my watch and it was 8:06am, luckily the bride had not arrived (No offense, women are always late and I am glad she’s late today).

We went in and I stood in front of the alter. The classical music suddenly played and it was announced that she had come…I looked in the direction of the door…she walked down the aisle…she was very beautiful…but a 1000thoughts ran through my head…People say marriage is a trap, those in it want out and those outside want to get in…A perfect wedding did not guarantee a perfect marriage but she was a wonderful woman and I stared at her…and that very moment I made up my mind that there’ll be no turning back…I love her and that’s all that matters. She approached me and I took her hand…we stood there together and were joined in holy matrimony…and till date I never regretted my decision…It’s our 35th year together and I hope people learn that there’s more to marriage than a wedding. :). The wedding no matter how small or big loses value if the marriage fails….
(The words of a fulfilled man).

So ask yourself which will you rather have, a perfect wedding or a perfect marriage?
Love,
Einsteinette.