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How to Get Through a Marriage Crisis

Have you ever made up your mind to go on a walk and enjoy the bright day and fresh air and then suddenly, the clouds just get thick and then it starts raining, sometimes, it doesn’t even get thick at all, it just starts raining. Marriage can be like this, dating too. It starts beautiful and at some point gets ugly. Good news is that you can make it all beautiful again. Every relationship has its ups and downs, and just because you’re not acting like a couple of love birds doesn’t mean you’re going through a marriage crisis. So how do you know if you’re going through a particularly hard moment? There are certain signs you should keep an eye out for. Once you’ve ascertained that you are experiencing a crisis in your marriage, don’t run too quickly to the divorce option.

 

TRY THE FOLLOWING FIRST:

 

  • Be conscious of timing, location and approach – Finding the right place and situation to talk about your worries with your husband/wife is essential. Nagging about problems after a long and stressful work day is not productive or wise because you both are tired and may not in the best of moods.
  • Keep it positive – Laugh and the world will laugh with you, cry and you’ll cry alone. Stay positive, don’t over think or assume and never let yourself overload the situation with negative vibes and a pessimistic attitude, as it won’t help. Indeed, the best way to see the bright side is to look at it. Rather than focusing on everything that’s wrong in the relationship think of all the great things that you might have forgotten.
  • Be generous and selfless – Moments of crises are moments when extra effort is required and marriage crisis is no different. So prepare to undergo a period during which you will have to give more than you normally do, whether that’s love, attention, space or time. Patience is one of the best allies to fight this battle against whatever problem your marriage is facing.
  • Listen, understand and avoid assumptions – Don’t close yourself. Don’t rush to conclusions or reject your spouse just because they’re rejecting you. If they’ve told you they’re unsure whether they want to keep being with you or not, look for reasons, listen to them and try to put yourself in their shoes. In a word, be understanding and objective, which doesn’t mean endure everything, but it’s the best way to analyze the problem and find solutions. The worst thing you can do is to raise a wall. If speaking is a problem, a good idea is to both make a list of the things you don’t like about the other’s behavior and take turns to read your thoughts on it.
  • Don’t get too needy – Show them that you are the same independent man/woman you were at the beginning of your relationship and that this is something that will never change. This will take some pressure off your spouse shoulders and will give them some space in order to think freely
  • Relight the fire – Try to spice up your routine as much as you can. Pretend you are dating again. It will be fun and it will make you remember why you liked each other in the first place. Another great idea to relight the fire is to rent a holiday home away from the everyday routine and also to have some time together to help remind each other why you decided to tie the knot. Quiet and snugly situations are always the best way to face problems and find solutions.

 

Sometimes the origin of the problem might be the foundation. Find out THE FOUNDATION OF ANY RELATIONSHIP 1 & 2.

 

If the previous advice fails the best thing to do is to seek a marriage counselor. Keep in mind that some relationship problems are difficult to be solved, especially those that involve physical and/or verbal violence or infidelity, though this doesn’t mean that all is lost. Hard work, love, respect, commitment, understanding and many more are antidotes to relationship crisis.

 

DON’T THINK DIVORCE, THINK RENAISSANCE!!!

 

If you enjoyed this, then you might enjoy other write ups by Sade Adebayo.

– Exercising Tips for People Working From Home

– Great Wedding Proposal Ideas

– How to Dress for Success

 

Guest writer,

Sade Adebayo.

 

Be A Step Ahead And Get That Job

Everyone in Nigeria seems to be complaining about the “availability of jobs” situation in Nigeria. They unintentionally scare the undergraduate and the school leavers keep blaming the government. Do you know in the midst of unemployment rate in Nigeria, you could get a job? Yes you can! It is simple

First, your mindset has to believe that you can get the job and you deserve it. You have to convince yourself that the unemployment situation cannot affect you. You are above it. Positive thinking works in reality. When you can trick your mind to believe a thing, it manifests in reality because you unconsciously work towards it.

Be different: you don’t expect to do things the way every other person is doing it and expect a different result. You’ll be rejected like every other person if you do what every other person is doing. Have a unique characteristic that you know no one else or very few people will have. It is this characteristics that set you apart. Always let your personality shine through.

Develop Yourself: make effort to constantly develop yourself. Every day let there be an advancement in your life. The world is constantly evolving you have to develop with it. Someone with typewriting knowledge is hardly sort for compared to someone who has computer knowledge.

Be confident: know what you have. Don’t go for that interview begging. You have something to offer and you’ll be paid for it, let the confidence be seen. Don’t be proud in an attempt to show confidence.

The God Factor: No matter what you believe in always remember that you can’t do it by your strength only. Pray and ask God to go with you. If you don’t get that job then God has a better plan for you
Try these and see what happens next.

Love,
Einsteinette.