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It’s amazing how when a child is born, people rejoice and a ceremony is organized but not as emphasized as the burial or death of a person. I mean, even broke people go the extra mile to give “befitting burials” and spend money on all the rites that need to be fulfilled. Sometimes 3 cows would be slaughtered, new expensive clothes would be bought, food would be prepared for guests, both invited and uninvited, money would be contributed etc. In some parts of Nigeria, the inability to meet up with these financial demands may force the family members to store the body in the mortuary for months or even years before consideration of burial. Note that, there is an intense possibility that throughout his lifetime, he wore torn clothes and struggled to afford 2 square meals but in death, he is adorned with the best clothes and more money is showered on his burial than it was ever given to him when he was alive.

I listened to the interview of Derenle on The Juice and I heard him talk about how people said mean things about Goldie but when she died people had nice things to say. Things should would have been happier as a person if they were said to her when she was alive. Why make people feel terrible in their lifetime and say nice things about them when they are dead. I feel it’s hipocricy.

Not only Nigerians are guilty of this, I see foreigners reverence you more in death than in your lifetime. I have perfect examples. Leonardo DiCaprio is most likely not to win a Grammy even with all his hit movies till he probably dies, they’ll give him an Icon award… OK maybe that’s a fallacy but Bob Marley got a Grammy in death. Let’s even ignore Grammies and all. Michael Jackson was bankrupt at some point but in his death he made enough money to pay off his debt and even broke financial records that he did not break in his life time. It was as though more people knew him in his death than in his 50 years of existence.

I understand the idea of “Legends” and “Legacy” but why not give the person the chance to enjoy the fruit of their labor in their lifetime?

Maybe I do not understand it but my question is,

Are you more relevant in death than your time of existence? Are you more relevant when your process of decay is triggered as opposed to when you are walking and taking strides on earth full of life?

My friend’s dp



Book Smart vs. Life Smart

I was seated at a meeting a while back with my team. We were trying to come up with brilliant and crucial talk show topics when the coordinator suggested a book written by Robert Kiyosaki as a topic of discussion. The book centered on different grades of students and their practical application of these grades in real life situations. The book title was WHY A STUDENTS WORK FOR C STUDENTS AND B STUDENTS WORK FOR THE GOVERNMENT.


I kept trying to weigh the amount of truth embedded in this statement. I considered, the Forbes list, people the world considered successful, people I considered successful, people I knew etc. and I discovered that 80% of the time, the book title was right and the other 20% were the few exceptions that performed above or below expectations. I noticed that people with the sky-scraping CGPAs end up as top-seat workers for private organizations owned by those with “near to the ground” CGPAs. A 4th generation A-student could end up working for a second generation C-student. It is important that I state that, the only C-students capable of making things happen are those that follow their passion, combine it with willpower and determine to succeed in spite of their “not so good result” not those that laze about. They are people who invest their time in self development and focus on fruition of their dreams and maximize their talents. Average students have an average approach to life and would find solace in government organizations or average positions in private organizations with comfortable salary and job security. I kept pondering on this and then I realized the reason for this grade and life partition is the different expressions of knowledge embedded in the word “SMART”

I believe there are 3 Echelons of smartness.

  • Common sense-Smart
  • Book-Smart
  • Life-Smart

I included Common sense-Smart because not everyone is smart enough to apply common sense to issues of life when necessary. Everyone has common sense but not everyone uses it. Your ability to express wisdom with common sense automatically qualifies you as a member of this stratum of smartness. This category is not grade bound. It is the first level of smartness.

Book-Smarts are people who dedicate time to reading, have retentive or photographic memory to save whatever they read in a short time or put in extra effort in books (academic materials most often) to guarantee theoretical success and awesome documented result. They are academically exceptional. The A-students are often in this category and some B-students. They are majorly concerned about the grades and nothing else. They know what they know because they read it, maybe crammed it, prepared well for tests and exams and aced it. There is no guarantee that they’ll remember the information few years later.  These people are called INTELLIGENT. Some C-students often skip this level.

Life-Smarts are those with tolerable/fair grades. They are those who believe in and are driven by their will, talents and passion. They have gained experience, learnt from the lives of people, applied life principles to demand what they want from life. They don’t pay much attention to the theory but are very practical and experimental. They are result oriented problem solvers and challenge challenges. They are just not given the chance to express themselves because a glance at their academic result could write them off in the eyes of their investors. Their result leave room for doubt in their capabilities but once you look beyond their result and at them you’ll see the excellence possibilities. Some B students and majorly C students fall in this category. These people are called SMART Some A students never get to this point.

To attain the peak of success, you need to find a balance. It is not enough to have a good result or excellent at “practicalization” and application. A perfect blend of both is SMARTWORK and this births guaranteed success. There is a difference between school intelligence and intelligence applied for maximum achievement.

So if you’re graduating with an awesome grade (A-STUDENT), CONGRATS! But it is not enough… It is nothing till it can be applied. Your grade might give you access to the top but it’ll not keep you there. Add a little more experimentation to the theory you already know.

If you had an average grade (B-STUDENT), WELL DONE! But you can do better. You can’t afford to spend your life comfortable in the crowd. You deserve better and you owe the world better. Don’t settle for mediocrity. Do something exceptional.

If you’re a C-STUDENT, CONGRATS! Good news is your grade does not define you or the heights you can attain. If you add a little more theoretical knowledge to that passion, it’ll strengthen your will and yield maximum result and who knows… you might be on Forbes list, maybe the next city owner, job provider,  etc. Einstein did not have academic documented proof of “exceptionality”. His teacher wrote him off doubting his ability to become anything but he was classified as the man with the highest IQ. You could be the Einstein in your own field. It may be business, poetry, car designing, whatever, you could be the exceptional person in your field that the academic exceptional will fight to defeat or work for.

Most people focus too much on the degree and lose sight of the essence of application. Knowledge without application is folly. Application of knowledge is wisdom. The difference is clear between a man who exhibits a level of smartness and one who expresses all the levels of smartness because he is seven times on top of his game and above his peers (see what I did there *winks*)

Don’t let hurtful stings, condescending and poisonous words and parental bants sway you. The myopic knowledge of the world today is: ONLY PEOPLE WITH GOOD GRADES CAN MAKE IT but you can become their renewed lens and make them see that their money and your years in school was not a waste it was beyond grades. With or without good grades or supposedly high profiled professions like medicine, law, etc. YOU CAN MAKE IT!!! Flaw their mind-formed principles. Grades are never perfect justifications of your years spent in school, the outcome of your life is.

1ec1654steve jobs quotes

PONDER ON THIS: if you judge a fish, a monkey, a lion and an elephant’s strength by their ability to climb a tree would you ever be able to figure their maximum capabilities? Would it be enough to express their true capabilities and level of excellence?

If you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree it’ll live its whole life feeling stupid and incapable of excellence.

Life-smart principles gets to be studied, experienced and written in books for book-smarts to keep reading. Don’t stick to one angle, be the circle with all round excellence.



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HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!! “Life is a play without a chance for rehearsal” I’m sure you are very familiar with the saying. Your life just plays out and every scene is on stage. You are the lead character and you rule your world. It’s a new year and I know a lot of us are battling with resolutions we set that we may have already broken. It is high time you leave the resolution making and focus on writing and achieving goals. It should be a daily routine to strive towards becoming a better individual not a yearly thing that you decide to give up after failing in the first month to uphold. Sit down, pick a pen and paper, your I-pad, computer or phone and ask yourself what you want to achieve this year. It could range from 1-12 things. Break it down further into monthly goals. The steps to take monthly to achieve the yearly goals and further dissect it into weekly goals and then daily goals. You would find yourself feeling a bit more focused daily and reenergized rather than drained. Take out time to review yourself and your goals every morning when you wake up and every night before you sleep. Follow this principle for 3 months consistently and I assure you that the difference would be clear. It works 99.9% of the time.

My friend’s dp

Life is too short to not make an impact. You can’t afford to waste any minute. You do not know the value of life until it turns to dust and slips through your fingers. It is a priceless gift, you can’t afford to waste it complaining and focusing on everything that has gone wrong ignoring what is right. Everyone has problems but not everyone makes an impact with their lives even if they are empowered to. Quit the negative thinking and complaints. Focus on more logical thinking where you weigh your options before making decisions. Ditch those resolutions, put on the garment of maturity and focus on your goals. Life is a play, you are the lead actor, YOUR CURTAINS HAVE BEEN DRAWN, ACT WISELY BEFORE THEY FALL FINALLY.




Pen and paper (now the options have increased with technology, tab, my phone, my laptop)… that’s all I need and the words flow freely and expressively addressing the matter at hand. I’m traditional jare, I still like my pen and paper even with all the technology. It’s just beautiful to see my handwriting. If I had a chance I’d dip feather in ink and write on a parchment. I like to think I was born with a golden pen in my hand and a brain that’s in sync with it. It’s a talent and a gift but talents and gifts are nothing if not developed. READ MORE

THE TIME WHEEL: A fun way to manage your time

*wide grin* Hi, hope you are having a wonderful day? Well I am and I thought I should share my latest discovery with you. On one of my internet escapades I found something and I think you might find it interesting:

Introducing my latest internet site discovery… *plays theme song, drum rolls*


You’ll have to click to view what it is all about and I think you should visit this site. It’ll teach you great life lessons with the simplest words and illustration. I stumbled on this post by Erin Greenwald titled The Easiest Way to See If You’re Spending Your Time Right  and I saw this activity, tried, saw how much of an eye opener it was and I thought to myself, why don’t I share it with you. You should try it too. Then try it again after a week and then a month and see how much improvement you are making at managing your time. Let’s call it the Time Management Wheel.


All you need for this activity is a crayon or marker or different pen colors or you can be creative and use patterns (dots, thin stripes, thick stripes, deep shading, light shading with pencil and pen) or even your lipstick 🙂 . Just ensure you have something to differentiate each activity with.

Give each activity a unique color in each hour of the circle based on the activity you usually fill that time with. YOU CAN START!

And hey… My book comes out in May, 2014 “THE DIAMOND OF LIFE” by BLESSING ABENG




The Perspective

They got to the shore of the sea, it looked liked the exact opposite of yesterday. Yesterday it was alive with agile and able fishermen trying to fish for the biggest fish in the sea and their families cheering them on. He was one of the best fisherman in the village and was a judge in the contest. Today, the shore looked deserted and this is the main reason he decided to fish today with his family. He loved the peace and calmness. He got on a boat with his two sons and daughter and sailed deep into the heart of the sea. His wife had suggested she stayed at home to take care of the house. He smiled as he and the first son tied their baits on the hook and tossed it in the water. It was evening and the breeze was calm. They had four large fish in the boat.

Everything seemed fine until a sudden thunder struck. The clouds thickened and the wind became stronger. The boat rocked as the waves became stronger. Panic gripped them. He was the father, he had to be in control so that the kids could feel safe, but he was scared. He didn’t want to lose his kids. They were at the middle of the sea!!! The clouds got darker and the heavy storm started. It rained heavily. The fisherman and his eldest son wanted to paddle but they didn’t know which direction to go. He stood in the boat and looked for a sign of the lighthouse. The lighthouse was a tall wooden tower with a large lamp hanging from the roof that helped fishermen to find their way back to the village shore but for some reason today he couldn’t see the light. The lighthouse was the only thing that could have brought them back home and it was gone. It was their compass. He did not know the way back to the village shore. He did not know which way to paddle. He was confused. The fear of losing his kids gripped him. His daughter was crying as she gripped her father’s arms. They were taking on too much water. The 2 sons grabbed the bowls in the boat and tried to get rid of excess water. It was over!!!. There was no hope for them. He hugged his children and comforted them, saying
“only God will deliver us from this”.

He shut his eyes tight withholding tears from falling and as he finally opened them, he saw an orange spot, he asked his eldest son to paddle towards the spot which he pointed while his last daughter and son used the bowls in the boat to get rid of the water in the boat. He and his eldest son paddled with all their might. The spot got bigger as they got closer and then it suddenly disappeared and became smoke. It occurred to him that the light had been a fire. The wind was against them but they battled. Finally, they got to the shore. They were all exhausted and were tearfully thanking God for saving them. They saw the remains of the light house. It had been totally destroyed by the storm. He heard someone weeping at the far end of the shore and he went closer to observe with his kids. It was his wife. First, he thought she was crying because she thought she had lost them but as he lifted her up saying “we are here, my love”,
she stared at him with so much pain and wept even more on his shoulders.
“The house, the house is all gone along with everything in it. There was a fire and it consumed everything”
He looked at her, tears filled his eyes as he saw the sadness that crossed the face of his wife and kids. He narrated their ordeal with the wind in the sea and smiled at her
“Where there is life, there is hope. We are alive and there’s a chance of recovering all that is lost together as a family. Thankfully you are not a childless widow. If that house didn’t burn, we’d have been lost forever. There are two sides to this story but I choose to see the beautiful side”
He hugged them.
“It will be well”

There are always 2 sides of an experience. Somethings have to happen for better things to come. Don’t dwell on the negatives. Remember, where there’s life there’s hope. So let’s play a game, call it the perspective game: when things don’t happen as expected or when bad things happen, find a positive situation to counter it e.g

Negative situation: you had an extra year in school
Counter thought: there is something extra that you have to learn that will give you an edge over others and skyrocket you faster to the top above your peers
Remember, The harder the situation better the game. I read somewhere that “life is all about perspective, the sinking of titanic was a blessing to the prawns in the kitchen of the ship”.
The game helps reduce your worries and gives you a better view of life.

If you need help playing the game, feel free to mention @ms_einsteinette or email