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FEMINISM IS BEYOND WOMEN

A while ago, I said FEMINISM WAS OVERRATED, not unnecessary but overrated. Why do I think it is necessary? Asides the obvious victimization of women in the early days, I think true feminism transcends beyond women.

Feminism should be a fight for male and females but done under the umbrella of women as mothers and future mothers. Women fighting for the mutual respect for both sexes. Women fighting not just for the women but for the men. Whether or not we like it, the fight for feminism has been taken up by some ignorant people as an excuse to be disrespectful to the men. READ MORE

THE FOUNDATION OF ANY RELATIONSHIP 2

Hi beautiful people, its another weekend. Thank God its friday. We will continue our discussion on helpful tips to improve relationships. If you missed the first part click THE FOUNDATION OF ANY RELATIONSHIP

To harness the be best out of any relationship and to build solid relationships with our family, friends, lovers etc. you have to build yourself first.

  • Be consistent. Some weaknesses are born out of bad habits. Letting go of bad habits take consistency and strong will. No habit is innate (inborn). Every habit was picked up in one way or the other. We are all responsible for our habits whether good or bad. Constant repetition births a habit. Bad habits are easy to develop but difficult to live with. Practice good habits. We do not need miracles we need better habits.
  • Write down your dreams and Goals. This gives you a sense of direction and inspires you. It gives you a reason for constant communion with self. If you do not know where you are going, you will be unable to get there.
  • Define yourself and standards. Know what you should and shouldn’t do. Where to be found and where not to be found, the kind of friends to keep etc. if you lack standards (S.I units), no one will place a value on you or identify your placement. You’ll be just another floating number. A very random one.
  • Understand your personality and let it shine through. Your personality is a distinguishing factor that is unique to you alone.
  • Be confident in yourself. Trust yourself and believe in yourself. Trust strengthens marriages, friendships, etc. and will definitely strengthen self love.
  • Never let people define or discourage you. No matter what you do people will always criticize. Accept good criticism and discard the chaff. Live for yourself and not for people. Life is too short to waste trying to please people. See gossips as jobless but necessary publicist with the duty of increasing the world’s knowledge of you.
  • Have positive dialogue with yourself. Think positive thoughts. You are who you think you are. Counter and dispel negative thinking. You will never rise above the image you have of yourself.
  • Don’t let your pasts or mistakes define you. Learn from your mistakes and past experiences, don’t wallow in self pity or hide in its shadow. Your mistakes should strengthen your innovative capacity. Think up new ways of doing things.  Your pasts should motivate and challenge you. Be better so you can save people the stress of making the same mistakes you’ve made. Inspire someone to be a success with your success with your success story.
  • Speak to your hearing. When you speak, hear and believe something, you unconsciously walk and work towards it. The more you hear and say a thing, the easier it is to believe and embody it. Speak words to strengthen yourself.
  • Eliminate atelophobia. Atelophobia is the fear of not being good enough or imperfection or  an extreme fear of failing to achieve perfection. ELIMINATE IT!!!
  • Complement yourself and acknowledge yourself when you do something good.
  • Take yourself out on a treat.

Most importantly, I THINK YOU ARE AWESOME, DON’T FORGET THAT!!!

Practice the following and watch the quality of your relationships elevate. Have an awesome weekend.

Photo credits: David Adelakun (Taiwo Adelakun Photography)

Model: Ojiyovbi Ebasa

Love,

Einsteinette.

THE FOUNDATION OF ANY RELATIONSHIP

Hello people, how are you doing today?

Was thinking about writing on relationships and I thought it would be terrible to talk about relationships without addressing the bedrock of relationships:

YOU!!!

Most often we get caught up in building our relationships with others that we forget to build relationship with self. The relationship you have with yourself is the foundation of any kind of relationship with anyone else. You cannot totally love and accept someone if you do not love and accept yourself first.  You cannot have a good relationship with people if you do not have a good relationship with yourself first.

HOW DO YOU BUILD A SOLID REALATIONSHIP WITH YOURSELF?

The beautiful thing about any kind of relationship is that, it is built and developed constantly. The quality of your foundation determines if it will collapse or stand, how long it will stand and what kind of building you’ll have (If it will be a bungalow, storey building, sky scraper, etc.). To improve your relationship with yourself, do the following:

  • Make a decision to have a strong relationship with yourself.  Every advancement in every field of life starts with a decision. Actions and decisions, no matter how seemingly insignificant strengthen or break relationships.
  • Be determined. Have a strong will and stick to that decision.
  • Write down your flaws and strengths
  • Focus on your strengths. This will help you see the good in yourself and help your esteem.
  • Bear in mind that everyone else has flaws and weaknesses. Stop beating yourself up about yours. Quit being too hard on yourself. The first step to solving a problem is, identifying that problem. You know your flaws and that puts you a step closer to your solution.
  • Convert your weaknesses into areas of development until they transform into strengths. We are humans, born in imperfection with imperfections but this doesn’t limit us. Strife for perfection. Don’t get comfortable with your weaknesses.  When measured on the perfection bar, ensure you are closer to perfection than imperfection.
  • Remember that Rome was not built in a day, nothing good comes easy. The metamorphosis may be slow but the outcome will eventually be beautiful. The butterfly never starts life as a butterfly, it passes through many preparatory and stages and eventually comes out beautiful

To be continued…

Practice makes perfect and assures improvement. Practice the following and watch your relationship with yourself and others take a new dimension.

Photo credits: David Adelakun (Taiwo Adelakun Photography)

Model: Ojiyovbi Ebasa

Love, 

Einsteinette.

The Perspective

They got to the shore of the sea, it looked liked the exact opposite of yesterday. Yesterday it was alive with agile and able fishermen trying to fish for the biggest fish in the sea and their families cheering them on. He was one of the best fisherman in the village and was a judge in the contest. Today, the shore looked deserted and this is the main reason he decided to fish today with his family. He loved the peace and calmness. He got on a boat with his two sons and daughter and sailed deep into the heart of the sea. His wife had suggested she stayed at home to take care of the house. He smiled as he and the first son tied their baits on the hook and tossed it in the water. It was evening and the breeze was calm. They had four large fish in the boat.

Everything seemed fine until a sudden thunder struck. The clouds thickened and the wind became stronger. The boat rocked as the waves became stronger. Panic gripped them. He was the father, he had to be in control so that the kids could feel safe, but he was scared. He didn’t want to lose his kids. They were at the middle of the sea!!! The clouds got darker and the heavy storm started. It rained heavily. The fisherman and his eldest son wanted to paddle but they didn’t know which direction to go. He stood in the boat and looked for a sign of the lighthouse. The lighthouse was a tall wooden tower with a large lamp hanging from the roof that helped fishermen to find their way back to the village shore but for some reason today he couldn’t see the light. The lighthouse was the only thing that could have brought them back home and it was gone. It was their compass. He did not know the way back to the village shore. He did not know which way to paddle. He was confused. The fear of losing his kids gripped him. His daughter was crying as she gripped her father’s arms. They were taking on too much water. The 2 sons grabbed the bowls in the boat and tried to get rid of excess water. It was over!!!. There was no hope for them. He hugged his children and comforted them, saying
“only God will deliver us from this”.

He shut his eyes tight withholding tears from falling and as he finally opened them, he saw an orange spot, he asked his eldest son to paddle towards the spot which he pointed while his last daughter and son used the bowls in the boat to get rid of the water in the boat. He and his eldest son paddled with all their might. The spot got bigger as they got closer and then it suddenly disappeared and became smoke. It occurred to him that the light had been a fire. The wind was against them but they battled. Finally, they got to the shore. They were all exhausted and were tearfully thanking God for saving them. They saw the remains of the light house. It had been totally destroyed by the storm. He heard someone weeping at the far end of the shore and he went closer to observe with his kids. It was his wife. First, he thought she was crying because she thought she had lost them but as he lifted her up saying “we are here, my love”,
she stared at him with so much pain and wept even more on his shoulders.
“The house, the house is all gone along with everything in it. There was a fire and it consumed everything”
He looked at her, tears filled his eyes as he saw the sadness that crossed the face of his wife and kids. He narrated their ordeal with the wind in the sea and smiled at her
“Where there is life, there is hope. We are alive and there’s a chance of recovering all that is lost together as a family. Thankfully you are not a childless widow. If that house didn’t burn, we’d have been lost forever. There are two sides to this story but I choose to see the beautiful side”
He hugged them.
“It will be well”

There are always 2 sides of an experience. Somethings have to happen for better things to come. Don’t dwell on the negatives. Remember, where there’s life there’s hope. So let’s play a game, call it the perspective game: when things don’t happen as expected or when bad things happen, find a positive situation to counter it e.g

Negative situation: you had an extra year in school
Counter thought: there is something extra that you have to learn that will give you an edge over others and skyrocket you faster to the top above your peers
Remember, The harder the situation better the game. I read somewhere that “life is all about perspective, the sinking of titanic was a blessing to the prawns in the kitchen of the ship”.
The game helps reduce your worries and gives you a better view of life.

If you need help playing the game, feel free to mention @ms_einsteinette or email mseinsteinette@einsteinette.com
Love,
Einsteinette.