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Hi beautiful people, its another weekend. Thank God its friday. We will continue our discussion on helpful tips to improve relationships. If you missed the first part click THE FOUNDATION OF ANY RELATIONSHIP

To harness the be best out of any relationship and to build solid relationships with our family, friends, lovers etc. you have to build yourself first.

  • Be consistent. Some weaknesses are born out of bad habits. Letting go of bad habits take consistency and strong will. No habit is innate (inborn). Every habit was picked up in one way or the other. We are all responsible for our habits whether good or bad. Constant repetition births a habit. Bad habits are easy to develop but difficult to live with. Practice good habits. We do not need miracles we need better habits.
  • Write down your dreams and Goals. This gives you a sense of direction and inspires you. It gives you a reason for constant communion with self. If you do not know where you are going, you will be unable to get there.
  • Define yourself and standards. Know what you should and shouldn’t do. Where to be found and where not to be found, the kind of friends to keep etc. if you lack standards (S.I units), no one will place a value on you or identify your placement. You’ll be just another floating number. A very random one.
  • Understand your personality and let it shine through. Your personality is a distinguishing factor that is unique to you alone.
  • Be confident in yourself. Trust yourself and believe in yourself. Trust strengthens marriages, friendships, etc. and will definitely strengthen self love.
  • Never let people define or discourage you. No matter what you do people will always criticize. Accept good criticism and discard the chaff. Live for yourself and not for people. Life is too short to waste trying to please people. See gossips as jobless but necessary publicist with the duty of increasing the world’s knowledge of you.
  • Have positive dialogue with yourself. Think positive thoughts. You are who you think you are. Counter and dispel negative thinking. You will never rise above the image you have of yourself.
  • Don’t let your pasts or mistakes define you. Learn from your mistakes and past experiences, don’t wallow in self pity or hide in its shadow. Your mistakes should strengthen your innovative capacity. Think up new ways of doing things.  Your pasts should motivate and challenge you. Be better so you can save people the stress of making the same mistakes you’ve made. Inspire someone to be a success with your success with your success story.
  • Speak to your hearing. When you speak, hear and believe something, you unconsciously walk and work towards it. The more you hear and say a thing, the easier it is to believe and embody it. Speak words to strengthen yourself.
  • Eliminate atelophobia. Atelophobia is the fear of not being good enough or imperfection or  an extreme fear of failing to achieve perfection. ELIMINATE IT!!!
  • Complement yourself and acknowledge yourself when you do something good.
  • Take yourself out on a treat.


Practice the following and watch the quality of your relationships elevate. Have an awesome weekend.

Photo credits: David Adelakun (Taiwo Adelakun Photography)

Model: Ojiyovbi Ebasa




Hello people, how are you doing today?

Was thinking about writing on relationships and I thought it would be terrible to talk about relationships without addressing the bedrock of relationships:


Most often we get caught up in building our relationships with others that we forget to build relationship with self. The relationship you have with yourself is the foundation of any kind of relationship with anyone else. You cannot totally love and accept someone if you do not love and accept yourself first.  You cannot have a good relationship with people if you do not have a good relationship with yourself first.


The beautiful thing about any kind of relationship is that, it is built and developed constantly. The quality of your foundation determines if it will collapse or stand, how long it will stand and what kind of building you’ll have (If it will be a bungalow, storey building, sky scraper, etc.). To improve your relationship with yourself, do the following:

  • Make a decision to have a strong relationship with yourself.  Every advancement in every field of life starts with a decision. Actions and decisions, no matter how seemingly insignificant strengthen or break relationships.
  • Be determined. Have a strong will and stick to that decision.
  • Write down your flaws and strengths
  • Focus on your strengths. This will help you see the good in yourself and help your esteem.
  • Bear in mind that everyone else has flaws and weaknesses. Stop beating yourself up about yours. Quit being too hard on yourself. The first step to solving a problem is, identifying that problem. You know your flaws and that puts you a step closer to your solution.
  • Convert your weaknesses into areas of development until they transform into strengths. We are humans, born in imperfection with imperfections but this doesn’t limit us. Strife for perfection. Don’t get comfortable with your weaknesses.  When measured on the perfection bar, ensure you are closer to perfection than imperfection.
  • Remember that Rome was not built in a day, nothing good comes easy. The metamorphosis may be slow but the outcome will eventually be beautiful. The butterfly never starts life as a butterfly, it passes through many preparatory and stages and eventually comes out beautiful

To be continued…

Practice makes perfect and assures improvement. Practice the following and watch your relationship with yourself and others take a new dimension.

Photo credits: David Adelakun (Taiwo Adelakun Photography)

Model: Ojiyovbi Ebasa



What I learnt from Mrs. Ogunlana

How is Mrs. Ogunlana of any concern to you?

You might be wondering who she is, well… she is our case study for today and my lecturer in Covenant University. Mrs Banke Ogunlana is very smart and I am glad that I’m privileged to be taught by her. Initially, I misread her and disliked her. I felt like she stressed us too much and could not teach. These judgments I later realized were a product of my laziness and misunderstanding of her personality. I realized when I pushed further that there was a lot to learn from her. She is smart and may not be one of the fashionista lecturers but that never really counts because if she is given any brain work related to her discipline, she is confident enough to face it. She carries herself like was dressed by a designer in anything she wears and feels perfect in them. Not saying you shouldn’t upgrade your wardrobe tho… but a wise friend told me it is not what you do not have that limits you, it is what you have and do not know how to  use it that limits you.

Studying her I came up with a theory that “the way you react to situations around you is determined by your self esteem.” She is so confident and never feels like you are talking about her when she passes. Always with a smile on her face, she never feels disrespected because she holds herself in high esteem and your opinions cannot reduce her except she lets it. She is one of a kind and I want you to rethink and evaluate yourself. What runs through your mind when you walk past people and they are laughing? Do you feel they are laughing at you? Or talking about you? No one can make you feel less of yourself except you permit it. You may not be the best but you do not need to be the best because you are the only one of your kind. You only have a competition when there is a substitute or clone or another you but there is none. Trying to be like someone else is a waste of your true self. The best there can be is an imitation of you and not you. You are the original copy not the pirated copy. In the writing world, the original manuscript is treasured may be “priceless” or extremely more expensive than the copies distributed in stores. Take a stand and tell yourself who you are. Ring your positives to yourself. You are the only one of your kind. Stop comparing yourself with other people. President Obama is not the most educated black man in the U.S and neither is our President but they are still presidents. You are perfectly created to fit a particular purpose. Everyone is created to provide solution for a particular problem that will lead to your major success and leave your name etched in stone. Trying to be someone else deprives you of all that and assures unhappiness and deprives you of satisfaction and worst of all, you leave that space blank and leave the fate of many hanging. So stop demoting yourself. You are a perfect being, the most beautiful thing God created. I know I am beautiful and I do  not need anyone to reassure me.


Find your positives and strengths and develop them and use them as your confidence drive. You are unique and wonderful and I believe in you even if no one else does.